A moment of silence

Today I had a moment of silence reviewing back on my life. I was wondering that… How many people are proud of their choices and how many people have actually regretted their choices? When we come across a fork, or a junction, how to we face them? Do we break and make sure there is no car; before we cross them? Or, we just insanely step on fuel paddle to get the car going faster?
For me, I am not sure which I have done. To be honest, I was a reckless driver when I was a teenager. To me, it was just fun to step on fuel paddle and get me going faster and faster. I love the feeling of dangerous, the heart pounding part (I love it when I can hear my heard pound faster and faster) and the cold sweat part!! Yes! It was so good to be young and “dangerous”. What was the price I paid? I got accident more den 6 times in that year. Life is just like driving: we could drive recklessly or we could drive safely. My life was exactly the way I was driving, I was reckless and I took my youth for granted. I love the dangerous part in my life when I was younger. Curiosity was all over me. When I was in my teens, I love to try everything; this includes crime committing, suicides, and …. (Wont say anymore =x just in case my parents sees this!! LOL) but, what I am trying to say is that, is it all worth it? What was the price I paid for? I didn’t do well in my studies, I got barred from schools, and I can barely stand up on my feet to face my problems! To be honest, I am ashamed of myself.
Again I repeat, life is just like driving. It is how the way we drive, and we deal with it. I remember that when I was in form 5, after my tuition in Ghee, it was a rainy day. I was driving very fast that day. When it comes to a junction, I tried to turn; but the car skied off and I hit a car opposite to me. Then, I run!! Haha! Yes, I did run, but did I solve the problem? NO! After a week, a police warrant was sent to my house. It says that if I didn’t surrender myself, I will be jailed. I was so scared that time. Of course I did turn in myself, but luckily I was fined only. What could I have done? If I settle with that guy on the spot that day, I wouldn’t be fined; or even, if I didn’t turn in myself, I would have been jail. That is why; in life we should have face the consequences before it got worst. Like my driving and accidents, damages have been done in my life. There are only 2 options left:
1. Like hit and run: don’t think bout it, act like nothing happen
2. In accident: deal with the damages (like pay the person that got hit); face the damages that have been done in our life, deal with it.
I guess I have chosen option 1 for 20 years of my life, but I am glad that now, I have chosen option 2 before the consequences got worst. I did regret for a lot of things that have been done in my life. My biggest regret was the subject I chose for my degree programme. Honestly, I have been whining for 3 years, and hated it for as long as I can remember. But now, I guess I have stopped whining, and starting to accept it. Erm.. I didn’t say I liked it, but at least I don’t hate as much as before.
What I am trying to say here is that, who won’t make a mistake? It is just the matter of how we deal with them. I wouldn’t say I won’t make a mistake in the future, but at least now, I may stop at the junction and think a moment; and decide which road to travel. I deeply love my life no matter how much damages I have done to them.
No matter what have happen in our life, let us have a moment of silence to review them. Be proud and stand up for yourself no matter how much damage you have done in your life.

A youthful coffee!!

This morning, something has just gone wrong with me. I took a cab to an unknown place just to have a lunch!! Well not because i wanted a lunch there, but i was looking for a bank but I cant find it there. Thus, i end up having lunch there instead of going to the bank.
Ok..... Well this is not my main point, but seriously, I never felt happier that I have lunch there because I WAS ALONE!
Yah!! I know this is weird but I never thought that going to lunch alone can be soooooo much fun! Why it is fun to eat alone? First of all, I can take my time to eat without anyone there hurrying me. I remember I have a ex-bf that describe me eating like this: "She have to take 5 string of beehon, 6 string of mee, 2 pieces of taugeh and 1 piece of meat!!" HAHA!! Yup, I prefer to eat in a "WELL" manner, prim and proper but due to "HIS" comment, I indeed did change my eating habbit from 1 hour for a bowl of noodle to half an hour, i guess. The main idea here is, THERE IS NO ONE THERE TO WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH MY LUNCH!! Therefore, first time in my life i eat without any pressure.
Secondly, today i felt young again! Having lunch alone can make people to notice me i guess. At least when i was alone, the waiter dare to write a note to get my hp.no. but of course i pretend not to see it. Seriously, i dont know why i never felt pretty, probably because I am not pretty kua... But today, the waiter's action makes me feel young and pretty again. His action makes me remember of those days where; whereava I go, people will notice me. I noe this sound stupid but, it makes me feel that I am pretty. Now, I just dont know.
My lack of confidence makes me look plain but luckily, I feel that being alone was never horrible. In fact, it was pretty awesome!

Besides, what are men?? MEN is..... but an accessory!
When do we wear accessories? We often wear them to make us feel beautiful and confident, but too often, we forgot the main purpose of accessories. Due to the "blink blink" of the accessories, i tend to buy and buy, but i just keep shelving these accessories instead of wearing them. Thus, these accessories has lost its purpose and value!
Same thing applying to men! Why do we need man? OF course to makes us feel beautiful and confident but after sometime, some man might react in a jerk way to make us feel miserable. Thus, they has lost thier value of becoming our man; so why do we still keep them?
Last week, while I was cleaning my room, I looked into my jewellery box. Inside the box, there were many kinds of necklaces and earings. Some were bought 7 yrs ago, and some were new and was bought 2 weeks ago. When I looked into the box, there was a necklace that I bought when i was in Form 4. That time, I love it and treasure it so much but when i look at that necklace last week, I knew that it doesnt suits me anymore, because I am not 16 anymore! Same thing applying to man, the guy we liked 7 years ago and the guy we like today is diffrent! The guy that suits us 7 years ago doesnt meant that it will still suits us today!
Sometimes jewellery makes us feel uncomfortable, and we just want to have a day or weeks without hanging accessories on us. I havent been wearing accessories for a year as I feel so troublesome of wearing them. Same thing applying to our relationship. Sometimes, we just wanna have a week or a year of without man! Although loneliness devour us, but in the same time, freedom and youthfulness just come to us naturally!

Though I have my lunch alone, but that cup of mocha and the bowl of noodle in a new environment was a great new experience after a long time of "unloneliness". So.. at the end of the day, who says that loneliness is a bad thing? It is just a begining of freedom and youthfulness!! Theere is much more fun to come! Therefore, I feel that eventhough we dont have a soul mate, we still have our own back; as long as we are happy, and that is all that matters!

CHEERS!

how to get rid of eye bag n dark circles~~

hmmmm... today I read thru alot of forums n 1 of da most common prob we all have is dark circles n eye bag. Well after so many reviews of ppl's opinion i find that most people has diffrent kind of skin n suits diffrently. We tend to ask people what is good n wad is not; bt in da same time we forgot that we have diffrent kind of skin n diffrent kind eating habbit resulting in various combination of result we get.
For me, i have oily skin in T-zone n have dry skin on my face. Normally i sleep past 2am resulting in serious eye bag n dark circles.

A lot of people tend to say bio-essence dun seem convinsing, bt i still trid it ( haha!). I tried bio-essense for dark circles (new gold 1, not da eye bag wan), applying twice a day,n i used da bio-essense eye mask yesterday (its free if u buy da pack), cuz i feel guilty of sleeping at 6am. Well, i see da result in juz 1 week! Too bad my eye bag still there (cuz i din use anything fo eye bag).
Currently i c quite many of my frenz use bio-essense face lift on da eye bag n works... prob i'll try dat too.. bt dun put on ur eye lids... it seems like ur eye lids will be "lifted" too.. haha!
Besides this 2 product i also uses bio-essense (pollen essense); n to be honest, okok oni lor... Not to say very good lor...

Oh ya b4 i forget, IF u can afford DO TRY LANEIGE mask (da 1 u put on when u slp... i 4got wad name ald....). To be honest, this is a must buy!! Erm... but i feel expensive lo... U shud use it when u sleep late n u'll find urself look sooooo fresh even tho u slp soo late n u wont even have tired eyes!! Currently laneige have new eye mask but i havent try it!! Let me noe if u try it ok?

Good luck to u gals out there!! ppl alwayz say.. there is no ugly gals but only lazy gals... @@ i think its not true... we shud say.... rich gal only can be pretty... no $$= ugly... T.T sad~~

fit in or and fed up?

its been 9 months since im here... im soooooooo lazy of writing but yet i have lots n lots of thoughts everyday! yay?
I have juz read this month magazine (Cleo); there is 1 article of it caught my attention.. "ARE YOU TRYING TOO HARD TO FIT IN?"
hmmm.... are u? well..
I think basically we r there be4 whether we like it or not... my worst "fit in" history was when i move to new sch (CGl of course.. haha). People there treat me like an alien; especially when theres rumuors that says that im a lesbian n so, they stays away from me.....^^v yay!! (well now.... to me... lesbian ma lesbian lo... wads da big deal... haha.... at least gal understands better den guys do!). After that incident, i try my best to fit in to a group; which is now all my bestiest (at lease thats da good news... haha!)

hmm.... after a long long story... i was trying to tell.... IT IS OKAY TO FIT IN no matter hows da situation.. ^^v

Signs of you trying too hard (from Cleo mag)
1. you always agree with the otha person no matter whats the topic.
2. you find urself talking up ur job/boyfriend/friends to impress othas
3. you r willing to compromise ur beliefs if it means you'll be accepted by the "cool crew"
4. you love everything ur friends wear, buy da same clothes
5. you have opinion about everything ... it juz that it changes to match whoever you're with.
6. you find urself in random places and doing things tou'd alwayz told urself you'd never do.

er.. seriously i dun c any problem with no.2.. i mean it's bad to gossip bout ur frenz rite? so we ma talk bout ourself lo.. bt not with da intention of impressing othas... (how to impress othas when we talk bout ourself @@?)
i hate no.4 tho.. come on.... seriously, who likes to be copied? no one... im sure not even urself.. lets have our own "flavour" of clothes ok?

i tot after soooo long of "manopause in blogging" i will write alot... haha.... nvm la... c u nex time ^^

My randomness!

Yes its been 100 years since i write the laz post... im bithcy enuff to ask ppl post more bt me... deserting my own thinkin! hahaha...

I am having exam now... so bear wif me wif de dissapearance! GOod news for my readers tho! I am working on a real life stories! (hehehe.... stories bout my pass 'love life' HAH!). N sumthin dat is funny: me changing style... into "STYLISH AH LIAN STYLE!"

Hah yes! many things to be done... n it shall be done! SO EVERY1 gv me 1 month k? i promise u guyz n gals da bestest post ever! hahahhahahaa....

n GOOD news for those who hate me! Im looking ugier den eva.... BAD news for those who hate me: IM DOIN SO WELL IN ENGNEERING dat u wont even expect! hahahahahhahahahaaahaahahahhahahahaa!

To: KEE HONG,
TODAY is da laz day U 'stoppin by' at Penang....... yes... I am gonna miss you... C u nex year my fren! I noe you for like more den 5 years now, and you have never deserted me when i needed a person to be dere for me. Thz for being there for me. N our frenship is so unique: lovers- frenz- besties.
Every moment we been tru is so 'drama'(as if we r acting in sum movie lidat). Thank you for being there when i face my hardest break up n thanz for every moment that you held tru wif me! Besides that, thanz for alwayz making me smile when Im most emo, and thz being scolded by me for nth, due to my bad mood-ness.. I meant it and I'll bever forget that. Never being to send you bek to UK was my biggest regrets(hope u und... n besides i still can c u nex year). I wish you all the best n c u nex year my fren!

To:Mel n Grace
MEL n GRACE...... Seriously... i feel sad enuff to send u gals bek UK! bt still... we have to say goodbye n especially for grace(prob wont c u for another 2 or 3 years)
Our frenship starts when we realise how imp to held together(esp after f5, we r nt that close b4 dat, weird huh?) n, goin tru the funniest n da saddest moment together was act worth remembering u gals for life! YES i meant it! I dont noe wad is gonna happen nex year when i c MEL without Grace n c-ing Ej without u 2 gals. Seriously, its good dat Im in M'sia n I can alwayz c u galz, bt wad if our frenship has changed? What if one of us had lost our memories, and forgoten each other? There are many posibilities! I wanna remember every moment together and I wanna spend till da laz second with you gals... N not being able to send GRACE bek UK breaks my heart(as you r nt gonna come bek nex year or nex nex year!) n I realli meant that! Grace, our 'weird' frenship started cuz we r chemistry-fanatic, no1 und y we lov chem so muc(i aso dunno till now) bt then, keep wanting to win each otha in chem bonded our frenship today(u still remember?) n our same hobbies (chess! hah!) n lotz n lotz more... every bits of this memories makes me feel sadder to think part ur departure date, and every second that i used nt wif u gals makes me feel more guilty.

WAD can i do to make a diffrence? nth! FEAR of saying goodbye makes me emo

I STILL can spend da laz hour wif MEL bt wad bout GRACE? SHe is leaving n Im still having my exam...I Dun wanna say sorry to Grace cuz... sorry is not enuff...

Help!?

I obviously cant finish my studies in time! Leaving me 10 days to final ... i got 4 Chap for Electric circuit ( whic is 60 pages for each chap... n i nvr study b4) 5 chap for fluid (fr 60 pages to 80 pages each chap) 4 chap for Geo ( whic i can onli finish 1 chap a day.... bt luckily i hav studied 2 chap) 3 chap for structural (whic i onli manage to finish 1 chap a day) and.... MY ENGINEERING ANALYSIS!!!! (whic i dunno wad da hell its all about!! dam hard combination of forier series wif numerical... i guess... I DUNNO.... i din touch dat b4)

*lets pray wif me!*

n wads more???
I GOT 1 report.... 3 assignment n 2 project.... due date in 1 week time!

GOSHHH wad shud i do? wad shud i do??
PRAY WIF ME...dat SUDDENLY WE HAVE MERDEKA celebration for 1 mroe week n we shall hav 1 more week of holiday?

GOSH... i feel like cryin... i feel like running away fr all this..... I COULDNT ASK FOR ANYTHIN MORE.... T.T

WTF?! WTF???!!!

SOME1 plz tell me??? Do i look so noob?? Y I ask this?? Well guess wad??? I got myself into snach theft incident..
HOW IT HAPPEN? WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?

Well... it happened this mornin when I was walking to the bus stop..
not noticing a motorcycle was aiming thier victim (of cuz me!); i was still noob-noob-ly walking... den.. a motorcycle pass by me reallli closee... den i fell....

I tot... wad da hell... langgar me???
i realli dunno wad happen.... bt den... after i fell... da back guy of the motorcycle grip on to my handbag n pull it...
B cuz I fell onto my bag, they find it hard to snatch da bag... so dey DRAG ME ALONG da street wif thier bike.... luckily i shouted (hah... u noe how loud I can shout!)

My tear burst out of painfulness!! (DUHHH... u try n c la... c pain o not)
n I was devoured by fears...

I dint go home straight as my exam starts at 8am! n this incident happened at 7!
My fears slowly turn into my strength! Not onli i noe how it feels to b victim but I also noe how to react if (choi choi choi) in case it happen again?! I always tot to myself... wads da posibility of me getting into this crap... ermm... probably 5%? or 10% most?? So i never bother to take precaution steps!

Well now I realise... no matter how smally da probability, it is still best to take precaution steps! For gals out dere... if u cant c da motor number... dun bother to look... (CUZ sure cant c wan... i got hit on head.... cant even look up eh!) U MIGHT 4GET SCREAM HELP.... bt dun 4gt go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!